What Did He Have To Change?

Don't get it twisted. I am a cock slinging, punany crushing, straight male. So when I tell you that I came across this picture and couldn't help but say to myself, "M.J. was a good looking man," there is nothing "gay" about it. But for real, look at him then and look at him now. What the hell did M.J. see wrong with himself? That was a good looking brotha with style, presence, and an aura that tells you he could command a room.

It's difficult to look at that picture and not wonder how Hollywood distorts the definition of beauty. Is Hollywood's definition of beauty and what sells, the same thing that makes us buy? I'd buy a magazine with Gabrielle Union on the cover before buying one with Megan Fox. Look at women in Hollywood who go on these extreme diets like Jenna Jameson, Nicole Ritchie, and the Olsen Twins. In their pursuit of beauty they ultimately fail. M.J. certainly failed.

On Second Thought

I tried watching Kat Williams' comedy specials before. Unfortunately he dropped the "n" bomb every 4th word and thus I couldn't stomach anymore of his vain attempts at comedy.
Here Williams' is on the red carpet at the BET Hip Hop Awards. I'm sure when he was brainstorming this idea, it sounded good at the time. Unfortunately like his new film, what looked funny on paper didn't translate well once it got to production.
Shuffle, chuckle, and jive Kat. You have just put black people back to the days of Amos and Andy.

What do you think Kat Williams was thinking when he wore this?

New Page Direction

Hello readers. You may notice that the name and direction of the page has changed. After careful review, I have decided to shift the focus of the page from basic entertainment news and celeb gossip, to focusing on individuals in the field of entertainment whose images and actions are detrimental to the image of black people worldwide. My hope is that by calling out their actions, we can begin to force a change in how we are portrayed and how we portray ourselves.

Black Americans for instance, do not realize how they are seen in countries like Finland, Japan, Australia, Russia, Italy, Ghana; to name a few. 99.9% of the time-- unless you are Will Smith-- the image they see in those countries is the same image that BET presents. Think about that. An entire world believes that all black Americans wear gold fronts, big chains, flaunts wealth, and disrespects women. Is that how you want to be viewed?

It is time for a change and that chance will start now.

Why the name "The Minstrel Show?"

Blackface minstrelsy was the first American theatrical form. Popular in the 1800's before the Civil War and again at the turn of the century before the Harlem Renaissance. For several decades, this form of entertainment and comedy provided the lens through which white America saw black America. Gone from the mainstream for over 5 decades, minstrel made a successful entry back in pop culture in the mid 1990's with the emergence of the shiny suit, champagne popping, platinum blinging Negro led by Puff Daddy and The Bad Boy All-Star Minstrels. This lack of cultural etiquette and penchant for cash by any means necessary led to the destruction of black American culture in the arts, entertainment, and sports. By early 2006, nearly all popular black performers were part of the minstrel act. Those who made the choice not to sacrifice their given talent and pride, found themselves performing in the underground circuit or excelling in sports without any recognition despite being the best in their crafts.

We have to take back our pride and stop supporting these musicians, athletes, actors, etc. who continue to portray the worse in black America. It is one thing to be entertaining, it is a whole other thing to be offensive. Next time you are bobbing your head to a fresh beat, listen to the lyrics too. Write them down. Do they make sense? Probably not. Next time you see a black athlete's mother in the stands, compare how she is portrayed to a white athlete's mother. Why do we have to show ignorance so often? Yes I am being hard on black America, someone needs to be.

BET Hip Hop Awards Running Diary

Oh yea. I got my drink, my two-step, and my laptop ready. I am ready to straight clown. If you read this blog, then you know what I am about to do. lol. Shit, these awards might prove Dr. Watson's theory to be correct.

Kidding

Stay tuned. If you are watching, join me and post some of the hilarious goings on.

Wow. Cassidy just said, "I feel good being here. A year and a half ago I couldn't get BET. We didn't get BET in jail." Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the BET Hip Hop Awards.

8:07-- I have a feeling that E-40 will not be doing the line up intros for the Grammy's anytime soon.

8:08-- Seriously when are men going to realize that blowing out your hair is not cool? Why is Kat Williams such a minstrel?

8:09-- 1st sighting of the Gremlin known as Lil Weezy. make sure you put the water away cause if it spills on him, we will have more.

8:12-- Does Kat have a black power fist pick in his hair?

8:15-- "T.I. Versus TIP" is up for an award. I'm thinking that after his arrest, T.I. lost to TIP.

Yea Common won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CD of the Year. Funny how all these people knew that T.I. got arrested before the awards taped. Common just said, "love to T.I. wherever he is." That would be in the joint Common.

8:19-- Craig should have told those kids that he is pushing 30 and still working the register at McDonalds. Those kids need better guidance.

8:21-- Yes, Wyclef finally cut his hair.
Twista looks like he never washes. Fat ropes don't look good on everyone.
Who invited Lil Mama to the cipher? Where is the mute button.
Chav prince Dizzie Rascal. Where is The Streets when you need him?

8:23-- Fuck he did not just call Lil Wayne "the greatest rapper alive." Reason no. 3 why Kat should not be hosting these awards.

Hmmm, now I see why BET tape delays the awards. They have to censor every other word practically.

Oh gawd I looked at him. I'm turning to stone.

8:25-- Lil Wayne will rhyme any word. I need to do a Lyrical Biology 101 on this song. I bet it makes no sense.

8:26-- Keyshia Cole= Webster's entry under "ghetto fabulous."

I think they cloned Jermaine Dupri. He is everywhere, at every party.

8:28-- Oh shit! Kanye finally won an award. No tantrums tonight. It's amazing.

His ego is too large. I thought he said he was humble in "Through The Fire."

8:30-- David Banner speaking.

Banner has become the unoffical spokesman for hip hop intelligence. I should tell you that Banner went to Southern University. Not exactly Harvard. Speak on it though David. Make me proud.

8:31-- "ain't a damn thing wrong with hip hop but bootleggers and limewire."

Lol David. I love Limewire. Keeps me from wasting money on albums like "Kingdom Come."

He pulls out a Vick jersey to show support. Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the BET Hip Hop Awards.

8:34-- We are back from commercial and Kat Williams has changed for the 3rd time. Is he trying to break Beyonce's record?

8:36-- Someone should remind Nelly that Troop was made by the KKK.

Why isn't it consider child abuse to have these little dancing like strippers?

8:37-- This bringing back of the 80's is cool except some people are just trying too hard to pull off the look. Nelly.

8:39-- Hey Nu Nu. Work those black tights baby girl.

8:40-- Lyricist of the year award is up. Should be a short list.

My money is on Common.

8:41-- And I was right!

He was up against Jay Z, Kanye, T.I. and Lil Wayne. That's like Michael Jordan in the dunk contest against Larry Bird... lol Common couldn't even keep a straight face when he said he gets inspired by listening to Lil Wayne.

8:47-- wow MC Lyte still looks good. Cha, cha, cha! Her hair kinda looks like she is auditioning for the role as Mary in There Is Something About Mary 2.

8:49-- oh no. It's a live performance of "Ay Bay Bay." Someone call protective services and rescue the little kid that is on stage before he carjacks you in about 10 years.

8:52-- Lil Boosie is up. Perfect time to edit the blog. When are we going to put a moratorium on putting "Lil" in front of your name?

9:02-- I'm back. I had to throw up upon seeing Busta Rhymes. I think I get roid rage just by looking at him.

9:03-- "Free TIP!" Why, so he can use those machine guns and silencers he was buying? Kidding.

9:03-- Hill Harper rocking the "Barack The Vote" t-shirt. Most cop that.

9:04-- Lil Wayne wins an award. He brings all his kids on stage (they should have ask Antonie Walker and Travis Henry to present it).

9:10-- Eric M. Dyson is dope. He is spitting a tight flow too. Nice spoken word. Wow.

9:10-- I have no words for Cee-lo's outfit. None.

Melyssa Ford's video hoe money must be running out. Although that ass can go on for miles and miles.

9:14-- If you have not seen Common live, check ticketmaster.com for the concert near you. Incredible live performer.

9:22-- Cornell West. He is becoming the hip hop Al Sharpton. He likes the camera too much. Intelligent man, but he acts like a caricature at times.

9:23-- KRS One being honored. I stand in applause. One of the great poets of our time.

9:27-- KRS One to the stage. Finally some intelligence to join Common. He sends out a message for hip hop unity. I love KRS One. He is hip hop.

9:29-- Wow there will be 2 black Christmas movies. They both look good and funny.

9:33-- I wonder what Kat Williams will be wearing after this commercial break. I got a $100 that says it is something I wouldn't wear.

9:34-- We come from KRS One talking about hip hop unity to Lil Wayne and his knuckleheads talking about selling weight. Nice.

9:36-- Is Lil Wayne ever going to finish what is in the drink? Btw, thanks for fucking up my hustle Lil Wayne. I like to keep my drink in a coffee cup when I'm out.

9:39-- Lil Wayne has plenty of time to put his shirt on and pull his pants up before getting the award.

9:44-- Ras Kass. One the best there is. The ciphers are where it's at.

9:46-- I think it's time for the 2 of the Jena 6. Lets see if I was wrong for my comments. I got $100 to say I was not.

The one in the black looks like he was schooled in the art of ego by Kanye West. I will say this, I would not like to see them after my ass. Somebody is lucky he is alive.

9:49-- Wait, is Kanye trying to give the award away? A moment of humility for Kanye. Big Boi rocking the new age Nehru jacket. So fresh and so clean.

9:56-- Do I really have to discuss the live performance by Soulja Boy? No, no I don't.

Ladies and gentleman, the BET Hip Hop Awards. If I ever present at the Academy Awards I will say, "lets have some good parties tonight, no shooting or fighting tonight."

Shit, I'm Smarter Than Most White People I Know

Lol, I wish I could have seen the look on your faces and read your minds when you opened your blog subscriptions and saw that title. I figured that before the real idiots in the Myspace blogging community got wind of this story, I would offer my views on it to all my smart friends out there.

So this Dr. James "Elementary My Dear" Watson, who won the Nobel Prize for work in DNA structuring, came out and said that black people are genetically less intelligent than white people. Now this is big news because Dr. Watson is not just some crackpot with a doctorate. Google his name and you will see the accolades (Nobel Prize, Time 100, leading speaker on DNA). The guy is prominent in his field.

Watson was scheduled to speak at London's Science Museum. The event has now been cancelled due to his controversial statements. Click here to read the article.

Obviously we all know that a person's racial makeup does not affect how intelligent they are. A person's environment certainly will though (unless your name is George W. Bush: then you are just a dumb muthafucka period).

They Should've Never Gave You Fools Money Volume 2

San Diego Chargers linebacker and Playboy bunny smasher Shawne Merriman literally made it rain on a girl's head at a night club. Guess this means he is back on the juice cause this looks like a case of roid rage.

They really need to start banning camera phones from clubs if they are going to have athletes and celebs in them. Not!

OMG She Smiles!

I guarantee that she has been in Dr. Beverly Hills's office all day long getting botox injections for the wrinkles caused by smiling. They must be laughing at how much ridiculous money they are making in America for no reason at all. I'd be laughing too Posh.

They are so Chav-fab.

They Should've Never Gave You Fools Money Volume 1.

DeShawn Stevenson is a fool. Lol. Unfortunately he has turned his Myspace page private so I can't link you to his blog or bulletin, but here is what he is asking his friends to do:

"I Got A Couple Ppl On The Lindsay LoHan Deal………………. But Im Giving Somebody 10 Stacks If They Hook That Sh*t Up…………….. 4 U Slow Ppl 10 Thousand Dollars 2 The First Muthaf*cker Get Me The Contact 4 Her!!!!!!! Before My Ppl Get The Number They Moving 2 Slow 4 Me So Holla At Yo Boy If U Need That 10,000 Grand!!!!!!!!! U Kno I Need That White Girl Lindsay Lohan…………. First N*gga Or Female Get Me That Sh*t I Wire That Money Str8 2 Ur Account Hit Me On Email If U Got The Real Sh*t!!!!!!! TwoFamily@mac.com………………… Yadddddaaaaa Boy"

The former fiance of former Destiny's Child member LeToya Luckett, is now seeking a liason with fresh from rehab Lindsey Lohan. Well since she already ruined one engagement, I guess it wouldn't hurt her to further ruin an already ruined 2nd.

Washington Wizards PR people must be in complete spin now. It's bad enough that he posted his AMEX Black Card in a blog, has been cussing out people who comment his blog, and is posting pictures with his jump-offs; now he is doing this? Shaking my head. A fool and his money will soon be departed.

***For the past 2 seasons Stevenson was playing for the NBA minimum. In July 2007, he signed a 4 year $15 million extension.

Whaddup Cuz!

Since there are 6 degrees of seperation, I don't think Obama will be planning any family reunions with Dick Cheney anytime soon. Mrs. Dick discovered that her husband and the Democratic front runner for president are 8th cousins. According to her research they are linked by a common ancestor, Mareen Devall, who was a 17th century immigrant from France (no Jesse Jackson, Dick's relatives did not own Obama's. You can sit back down on your high horse).

Click here for the full story.

All of the people in the world, who would you least likely to find out you were related to?

Btw, the Incognegro has discovered that he is distant cousins with Justin Timberlake.

Ellen Was Too Generous

Why am I a little happy at seeing an emotional Ellen Degeneres? Because it shows that you can't always use your celebrity status to get your way (although the jury is still out on this story. I think the adoption agency will cave in under pressure). If Ellen was just a "regular" person, she would not be getting away with violating an animal adoption agency's rules. Her celeb status may have actual have gotten her the puppy over someone else who may have wanted it.

Background:

Ellen and her longtime partner, Portia de Rossi, adopted a puppy and when it did not get along with her cats she gave it away to her haridresser. The puppy bonded with the new family yet Ellen violated the adoption agency's rules when she gave the puppy away. When the agency found out they sent a representative to the hairdresser's home and took the puppy away.

Ellen, in an emotional plea on her television show asked for the puppy to be returned.

I love animals, especially dogs. I can't imagine someone taking an animal I love away. Animals are just like children to many of us and I sympathize with Ellen. It's just that as a society we have to hold everyone accountable for breaking the rules regardless of their celebrity status.

Do you agree?

Unbeweavable!!!!!!!

Caught this story yesterday on crunktastical and here. It states that:

Amy Winehouse is set to donate £50,000 to a Romanian orphanage after discovering her hair extensions could have come from there.

The 'Rehab' singer - who wears a weave to boost her trademark beehive hairstyle - was shocked to discover orphans often have all their hair cut off toprovide extensions for western women.

It's bad enough that we have conflict diamonds, now we have hair that has to be certified that it does not come from unethical sources. Shaking my head. Who is the person that came up with this idea to make money? How could someone in any culture exploit children this way and get away with it for so long? We need to reevaluate how we define beauty. Hair extensions, diamonds, breast and ass implants, colagen injections; all these things that people compliment are things are gained by exploiting others or our own bodies.

What do you think about this? Ladies, how can you be certain of where your hair came from next time you get extensions?

From Jena Jail To ATL

Pictures from Sandra Rose
Carwin Jones and Bryant Purvis, two of the Jena 6 were presenters at the BET Hip Hop Awards in Atlanta, GA Saturday. There aren't any rules that say these two men cannot seek the limelight. Who knows what career aspirations they have. Yet, it's a little too soon to be hamming it up for the cameras at awards show after parties don't you think? Only boxers and UFC fighters should be made celebs for beating someone's ass.

We marched in Selma, we marched in Montgomery, we marched in Jena... what did we march for?

Run 4 President Now!

Congratulations to Al Gore for winning the 2008 Nobel Peace Prize for his work, along with the United Nations IPCC, for their work to raise awareness about global warming. I think this is an award that should be shared with the millions of people worldwide who volunteer to plant trees, recycle, etc.

Hopefully Gore will use this as a springboard to launch his nomination (selecting Obama as a running mate).

Are People Forgetting? These Are The Spice Girls

I know, I know. It's the hottest ticket in the world. They sold out the O2 Arena in London in 39 seconds. They are selling tickets faster than Miley Cyrus. It's the must-have ticket of the season. Blah, blah, blah. Do you lads suffer from amnesia? Were the mid 90's just a chronic smoking, grunge wearing blur? These are The Spice Girls we are talking about you wankers. I thought England was trying to forget about them much like we try forgetting that The Falklands War ever happened (except when playing against Argentina in football and rugby). Besides that robot also known as Victoria "Posh" Beckham, let me give you another reason why you should not be interested in seeing them perform:

Memory refreshed?

"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ah.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting, my precious time,
Get your act together we can be just fine."

Now?

It's 1992 All Over Again

That flyer you see above is for real. It isn't a joke. It appeared this morning in my inbox and I saw it being discussed on blogs like Sandra Rose's and Crunktastical's.

I feel like it's 1992 all over again back when everybody wanted a light skinned male or female. This was when Christopher Williams, Halle Berry, S-Curls, and green contacts were the thing. Hard to admit but there was actually a "I want to date only light skinned" era.

I wonder how this club will enforce the policy. Obviously they can check your ID to see if you are a Libra. But what determines if you are light enough? Will they do like the AKA's (Alpha Kappa Alpha) and Kappas (Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity) use to do to determine if their prospective members were light enough? What did they do? They used a brown paper bag to test a person's level of lightness. So I am guessing that the club will do like amusement parks and hold a paper bag at the door that you have to stand beside.

What are your thoughts?

Still Think It's Cute To See A Kid Crank Dat?

The most popular song in the United States right now is a catchy tune called "Crank Dat" by 17 year old knucklehead Soulja Boy. The song spawned a Youtube sensation of other knuckleheads worldwide showing the world how they "crank dat" Soulja Boy. One of the most popular moves in the dance/song is referred to as "Superman dat hoe." Well what does it mean to "Superman dat hoe?" The answer is quite shocking and appeared on Stylerazzi's page:

Lets say that it's that time of the month for your woman, or she has a headache. Well you are horny and you really need to get one off. Whilst your bird is asleep, you "handle" things. As you reach the point of climax, you unload on her back, and then put the sheet back over her back (I have no idea how a woman can still remain asleep during this). During the night, your little soldiers will begin to dry. When she wakes up and leaves the bed, the sheet will stick to her back like a cape, and thus, she is now Supermanned.

Breaking News!!!!!!!!! Bobby Brown Hospitalized

According to sources, Bobby Brown has just been hospitalized with an apparent heart attack. Anyone familiar with the Old Dirty Bastard and his death knows that years of repeated drug use and then a sudden stop, can cause major heart problems. Not to speculate, but it is possible that Brown's condition could be from his alleged drug use.

More as the story develops.

We will pray for Bobby. Don't be cruel lord, cause Bobby would never be that cruel to you. Uh no, oh don't be cruel.

***UPDATE***

Brown's condition has stabilized. He suffered what they are calling a minor attack but there isn't clogging or blocking in the heart. Multiple sources are saying that Brown was so scared, he recorded a voice message to give to his family.

What do you think Brown said on his message?

Whitney, baby, I just wanted to tell you ______________

Get Your Birkenstocks Ready

According to Sandrarosenews.blogspot.com, Ciara will be joining Rihanna on tour in Europe. After fighting rumors that she was born a he, Ciara's people will now be fighting the lesbian rumors that surround her relationship friendship with Missy Elliot Rihanna.

The question I ask is, "does it matter?" Angelina Jolie has made a career out of being a known bisexual. MTV just premiered a bi-sexual themed dating show with Tila Tequila. So if they are swapping fur (and I don't mean Rhianna puppy sitting) then would it really hurt their careers?

I personally think seeing Rhi Rhi's big ass forehead and kankles does more to hurt my image of her than knowing she might sleep with hot women.

Hmmm, Maybe We Should Boycott Home Depot?

I am the last person who would be supporting Michael Vick. I do not personally know him, but his actions that have been displayed in public, certainly lead me to question his intelligence. Despite what he is guilty of, the man has every right to earn a living based on his skills. Vick isn't going to be a doctor or investment banker. He is a football player, a good football player, and thus he should be allowed to earn and keep money he has been given as a football player.

The Atlanta Falcons and owner Arthur Blank are seeking 20 million U.S. dollars that they gave Vick as a signing bonus when they signed him to the largest contract in NFL history-- at the time. In case you are not aware, football contracts are not guaranteed. If you are hurt in year 3 of a 5 year contract, you do not get paid the remaining 2 years. That is why you see players signing huge bonuses. It is guaranteed money upfront. Now part of that bonus is also a guarantee that they will not do anything stupid that prevents them from being on the field of play and earning the bonus.

Vick violated his terms as a player. Don't for one minute think that Blank & Co. did not know what Vick was doing with dogs before we all knew. They got him out of trouble before with the law and court of public opinion. Believe me, they had the spin doctors ready until the Feds stepped in. Now they want their money back? Anyone who is a sports fan will tell you that Atlanta is the worse professional sports town in America. The NBA Hawks for years had one of the best teams in the Eastern Conference and could only sell out games when Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls came to town. The MLB Braves have been one of baseball's best teams for over a decade, yet even in their heyday, they barely sold out Turner Field. The Falcons were never a top NFL team and you rarely saw them on national television until Vick played. Besides Deion Sanders' brief time there, did you ever see anyone wearing a Falcons' jersey prior to Vick?

Vick has made that organization it's 20 million U.S. many times over in ticket sales, tv revenue, jersey sales, merchandising, etc. We don't have to like his character. We don't have to support him. But we do have to show people like Blank that hypocrisy will not be tolerated. If you want Vick to give his money back, then you need to give all the season ticket holders their money back and refund everyone who bought a Vick jersey.

A Shot of Penicillin W/ Tila Tequila

Tila Tequila of 2 million Myspace friends fame has her own dating show debuting tonight on MTV (watch out for the flying pig feces). Despite having over 2 million "friends," Tila claims that she still has not found "the one" and hopes this show will lead to her finding that one. Of course if the ratings do well and the ads pay off, it won't matter because the network will demand a 2nd installment. How will her show be different from I Love New York, Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, et al? Well for one, Tila will have 32 potential suitors to infect to choose from rather than the normal 20. And in a "shock" twist, Tila will be picking between 16 men and 16 women. That's right, Tila is bi-sexual! Whooo hooo what a surprise. NOT!

So Tila herself is unsure whether she wants a man or a woman, yet the viewer is suppose to believe that she is really looking for love? I think you really have to watch these shows with a 16 year old's mindset-- and libido. I am not 16, I won't be watching. Will you?

Welcome Back I Love New York

The world's greatest trainwreck is back tonight on VH1. Pull up your chairs and take a first class flight with Incognegro as he keeps a running diary.

Will you be watching tonight?

Did YBF.com Get Bought By Vibe?

I go to a few blogs on the daily to get my dose of gossip and see what people are discussing. Sites like sandrarose.blogspot.com (thank you for the shout out today), stylerazzi.blogspot.com, crunktastical.blogspot.com, tmz.com, and ybf.blogspot.com. All of these sites offer something interesting and original despite sometimes talking about the same subjects. In the high speed world of gossip and entertainment news, he who says it first may not always say it best.

I noticed today that one of the sites I visit, ybf, appears to have been bought out by Vibe. Why? Have you ever read a Vibe magazine? Avid readers of Vibe know that in order to get to the table of contents, you practically have to cut the first quarter of the issue off and begin around page 120. Well the virtual equivalent of Vibe is now ybf's new page. When entering the page, you will be greeted by a big blank space; a white light pulling you into clicking advertisements. I'm surprised she doesn't have Tragina's voice from Poltergeist playing in the background, "go to the light Caroline."

I've known quite a few bloggers that have taken their blogs from Myspace and blogger.com to go on and form their own sites. When you do that, you are telling people that you are now above the frey and that your site is the place to be on. Well bloggers of the world, make sure you aren't recruiting your 3 year old cousin who just took a web design class at Best Buy to design and plan your page launch. We read your blogs because we like to be entertained, not bombarded with ads and pictures you stole from other pages. Step your game up. When you launch your own site, your readers expect an AMG S-Class not a C-Class with a Kompressor.

You Are What You Wear

The other day I was having lunch with a friend when she mentioned throwing away her son's Michael Vick jersey after another parent made a remark to her about it. The parent said she couldn't understand how she could call herself an animal lover whilst allowing her son to wear Vick's Atlanta Falcons jersey. This of course got me thinking.
In the past I have been quizzed about wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt. I was called a terrorist and a communist because of it. It prompted me to pen a poem called "Be Aware of What You Wear." Much like wearing a Che shirt, one should also be aware of what people will think about them if they wear any of these jerseys.



John Kitna

-- I am a religious fanatic who enjoys converting my friends to my beliefs.
-- I am not the type of guy to invite to a party.
-- I enjoy being the designated driver



Travis Henry

-- I don't wear protection
-- I love spreading my seed around
-- I love to get high



Cristiano Ronaldo

-- I am a crybaby
-- I am spoiled
-- I think I am beautiful
-- I make terrible choices
-- I love "sexy time" with my mates




Oakland Raiders

-- I am or wish I was Mexican :-)
-- I like to destroy things
-- I worship satan
-- I sacrifice animals for victories


Mates, can you think of any other jerseys that say a lot about your character when you wear them?

Stephen Jackson Is A Changed Man

Are you hod? You aren't as hood as NBA player Stephen Jackson. Yes, THAT Stephen Jackson who along with Ron Artest went into the stands to beat up Detroit Piston fans (click that link for a great story). THAT Stephen Jackson who let off a few rounds outside an Indianapolis, IN strip club prior to the start of the 2006/07 NBA season.

Over the summer, Stephen got himself a new tattoo, same old attitude. It's a tattoo of praying hands clutching a gun surrounded by church windows. He says it means, "I pray I never have to use this again."

That's hood!

The Worst Hip Hop CD Covers Ever

While browsing the web at work, on a Saturday (see my life isn't all pictures, tea, and footie), I came across an article in boston.com (isn't that the city that wasted all the Earl Gray?). The aricle list the worse album covers of all-time. Quite hilarious bunch really. For instance, take a look at this:

I remember when we use to take those double shot poses for grammar school photos. Ken's though, looks like a clay mock-up that they would do on Unsolved Mysteries when they found a person's skull. Yet, rather than repost some of the albums (like some bloggers do), I thought I would steal the worst album cover idea and reoriginate it to just include hip hop albums. I now present you with:

The Ten Worst Hip Hop CD Covers Ever



Actually the album cover isn't that bad on this one. What's bad are the words "Greatest Hits" and "Snow" being put together.




No your mind is not playing tricks on you. Don't try this at home. What is "this" you ask? Shooting yourself in the eye. Apparently Bushwick, Scarface, and Willie D. thought it would be a great idea to make Bushwick's failed suicide attempt there album cover. Great album, terrible cover.



The words "Shabba Ranks" and "naked" let alone, extra naked, should never be put together. Also, if you are wearing a necklace on your album cover, make sure the link is not visible.



Forget for a second that its 4 guys in a hot tub with their shirts on. What's up with all 4 of them throwing a fist up? If you were her, would you still be standing there?



Master P and the No Limit posse raised the bar on terrible album covers in the mid-to-late 1990's. This gem features P at his most ghetto fab before he really became a household name.



If they didn't look like hoodlums; didn't have a group name that paid homage to cumming; and didn't have a group member with a cap that says "head"; wouldn't you think that this album title was for an elementary singalong?



Yo Yukmouth! I got 5 on your next album cover design.



Wow, this album cover is unbeweavable!



Back in like 91-92 when people had Geo Trackers, Suzuki Samurais, pull out Alpines, and Kickers; this was the album everyone waited for because of a song called "Ain't No Future In Yo Frontin." I remember when it came out and we all made a collective, "wtf!" upon seeing it. Nothing said one-hit wonder more.



This one is number one for the simple fact that K-Fed had an album. The padded walls are a subliminal message for "you are insane if you buy this."


Can you think of any bad hip hop album covers?

Gossip From The Kingdom

WAG To Play A WAG In Goal! The Movie 3

In a case of art imitating life, former girlfriend of footballer Teddy Sherringham and former Miss England, Danielle Lloyd set to play a WAG in new film. She quipped, "Is this a movie or a documentary?" when her agent told her that they just need her to look pretty on her hands and knees in Tescos, whilst she tries and bed a footballer.



Cristiano Ronaldo Will Be Pretty Again

Manchester United and Portugal International football, Cristiano Ronaldo was bruised and bloodied in a match against AS Roma Tuesday. Today, whilst promoting his upcoming semi-biography, Ronaldo claimed that he will be "beautiful again." No matter how much you try and like him, he always gives you more reasons to despise him-- even if you support United.



Lily Allen Parties With Kate Moss... sorta

"Lily Parties With Cocaine Kate" read the headline in The Sun today. Now if you are an up-and-coming singer with a voice that many people are paying to hear, the last thing you want to do is liken yourself to another Amy Crackhouse. Yet, Allen is doing just that with her erractic behavior. There is no telling how much money she has lost already upon cancelling appearances and tours in the U.S. since her behavior got her passport suspended. Put the powder away love, don't ruin that voice just to have your name in the headlines.

I Don't Have The Words

picture provided by www.crunktastical.blogspot.com


This is Atlanta personality Gaymon. For one I am rendered speechless. I will leave it up to all of you.

"If I was Gaymon's mom/dad I would ________"

Oh No You Didn't! Thursday: Chris Cocktaker

picture from crunktastical.blogspot.com

Bloody hell mates. What the ‘ell is wrong with you lads? This emo knob makes a video about Brit Brit and suddenly he is the reality king du jour? According to his latest Myspace blog, Chris has leaked discovered nude photos of himself are going around the web. Here is an excerpt:

For days now I have been bombarded with messages about the nude photo scandal. The truth is, I was young and stupid when I took those pictures. So young in fact that I was 17 at the time.

I do not condone anyone underage or OF age to post nudes, but in my own personal defense- I had a lot of alone time in the last half of my teen years, [I was home schooled] and when you're young self-discovery..happens.

I did in fact upload the nudes of myself to the internet when I was 17. Again, I do NOT condone anyone to do this. On the contrary- I encourage everyone to NOT upload nudes of themselves.

One thing you instantly see wrong with his post is his constant reference to the age when he posted the photos. He keeps saying 17 because he knows it is illegal for you sickos--still wacking off to Traci Lords’ video cassettes—to look at them (unless you are in Thailand, Tijuana, and Bali I pressume). Another thing I find wrong is his ego believing that people are actually bragging about seeing him naked. Have you seen yourself naked boy? I am sure it is not a sight for eyes to behold. If anyone is bragging about seeing you naked, it is probably in between shifts of pressing license plates.

Get over yourself wanker. Own up to what you did and don’t try making us believe that you were underage at the time. In fact, until you posted that blog, I am sure that no one even knew those photos existed. Your existence in our gossip and entertainment world is another tragic circumstance of Brit Brit being on the MTV Video Music Awards. Go away please.

Brit Brit Going Back To Rehab

***Update*** According to www.perezhilton.com, Britney is NOT going to rehab***

OK!Magazine is reporting the Britney Spears is going on vacation to rehab in the Caribbean island of Antigua. "Antigua, Jamaica, oooh I wanna take her to Bermuda, Bahamas, come on pretty mama." Sorry, just had a little Beach Boys moment there. Brit will be going to Eric Clapton's Crossroads Centre.

In the white room with black curtains near the station.
Blackroof country, no gold pavements, tired starlings.
Silver horses ran down moonbeams in your dark eyes.
Dawnlight smiles on you leaving, my contentment.

Ill wait in this place where the sun never shines;
Wait in this place where the shadows run from themselves

Allow me to pose this question. If celebs like Brit and LiLo really want to get clean, why do they go to these posh rehab centers that cost upwards of 2-3 kilos of pure Colombian white 25-35K, and are located in mountain resort towns, tropical islands, or in Malibu? That isn't rehab mates, that's vacation-- all inclusive!

If these celebs really want to get clean then they need to start going to the local rehab center on the streets of Skid Row. They need to sit next to crackheads with missing teeth, scratching their skin; heroin addicts who can't wear short sleeve shirts; mothers who prostitued their bodies for a hit; people who have lost jobs and homes because of their addictions. Those are the stories they need to hear from the mouths of people they need to meet, in order to realize how bad drug addiction really is.

Until then, Britney will enjoy her vacation and sing these lyrics:

I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
I went down to the crossroads, fell down on my knees.
Asked the lord above for mercy, save me if you please.

K-Fed Gets The Kids

The future of Sean Preston and Jayden James is now in the hands of K-Fed. Is that scarier than G.W. Bush being in control of the nuclear bomb or what? Their mom is an alcoholic, drug abuser, promiscuous, has-been pop-star who is blowing money faster than the residuals are coming in. Their father is an out-of-work Las Vegas regular with 2 kids from a former relationship that happens to still catch pink eye at the age of 29. Despite all the wealth and opportunity that money will give them, isn't the writing already on the wall for these two?

Maybe they won't be hustling on the corner but they most likely will be passed on the corner of whatever the hotspot is in Hollyweird in 2023.

K-Fed stepped up though and said he wanted custody. Yet, how many pictures have you seen of him and his two children with Shar Jackson? Exactly. Lets not start giving the Chav Prince father of the year awards too soon.

The Clay Writing Is On The Wall

Bloody hell you Americans sure do have clever ways of disguising your bigotry. "Hey Chap, here's an idea! Lets discuss interracial relationships, classism, and confronting stereotypes by creating a tv spot and ultimately show about cavemen living in modern society." "Brilliant!" Erm, on second thought, perhaps not. When Saturday Night Live sketches turn into feature films, the complaint is always that it was basically a 90 minute sketch that could have been told in 5 minutes. Well this show "Cavemen" on ABC is basically a 30 minute commercial that was told much better in 30 seconds.

Must feel good to be black, Hispanic, Asian, Pacific Islander (geesh, you people and your classifications) in America right now. The major networks do not have any new shows with characters centered around your nationality, yet they do have one about a group of hominoids that have been extinct for over 40K years.

Exactly how do 3 cavemen afford such a posh apartment in a nice area living off one of their IKEA salesman salaries? Must be a good year in Leksvik, Tylosand, and Crappola sales. Are we to forgo what history has taught us about the Cro-Magnon? Didn't they have pea-sized brains? Well then why are they playing chess, writing thesis, mastering Nintendo Wii controls, and shagging hot blondes?

Speaking of hot blondes, if that set-up in the restaurant didn't scream, "I only date brothers," then I don't know what does. If you saw it lads, then you know what I am talking about. It'll be an Ice Age in bloody hell before I watch this program again.

Question of the blog:

Did you watch Cavemen? What do you think about it?